


Stucky - Remembering My Past

by bluejaythebeautiful



Category: Marvel (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 16:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2739233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluejaythebeautiful/pseuds/bluejaythebeautiful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About a week after the events of "The Winter Soldier", Bucky returns to Steve's apartment, apologizing for what he'd done and asks for a place to stay. Steve lets him in, and they go to dinner for a bit. Bucky is overwhelmed by feelings that he hasn't felt in over 70 years and runs off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know: Each chapter is a time skip, varying depending on the the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next.

_Bam bam bam CRRK_ "Ooops..."

Steve jolted awake and fell on the floor, immediately realizing that he had fallen asleep on his couch. He grabbed his shield and crept toward the door. A metal fist was punched through, twisting around in an attempt to dislodge itself. Steve threw open the door to see his former best friend on the other side.

Bucky looked at the door and back at Steve. "Sorry about that," he said, and pulled himself free.

Steve straightened up. "Hey! What are you doing here?" he asked. He waved Bucky in, ushering him over to the couch as he spoke.

"I need a place to stay. I've only stayed with HYDRA."

Steve nodded. "How did you know where I lived?" He sat down next to Bucky and looked over at him. "Wait, never mind," he said, wincing.

Bucky winced at the same time. "Yeah, sorry about that, too. Really, about everything. C-could I stay here until I get my own place?" he asked.

Steve nodded again. "Sure. But you look like you haven't eaten in a while. Do you want to go get something?"

Bucky sighed and sat back. "Let me get a shower first and THEN we can go get something to eat. I feel horrible."

Steve crossed his arms. "I'm just really glad you're back..." he whispered. He turned away before Bucky could see the tears in his eyes, then stood up. "The bathroom's that way. I'll leave some clothes in front to the door for you." Steve pointed towards the hallway and headed off to his room.

Bucky waited for a few seconds, wondering why he thought he saw Steve crying. He shrugged it off and went to the bathroom. Once inside, he grabbed the faucet with his metal arm... and broke it. "Oh god dammit!" he swore.

Steve rushed in. "What's wrong-- oh." He took the faucet and fixed it back to the shower while Bucky watched.

"I keep forgetting about the strength of this thing. Sorry," Bucky said, looking at his arm.

Steve finished and stepped back. "It's okay, I have the same problem sometimes. Tony's working on something unbreakable."

Bucky was immediately confused. "Tony?"

Steve grinned. "Howard Stark's son! You have GOT to meet him. Anyway, I'll leave you to do whatever, and we might be able to go to NYC soon!"

Bucky smiled with him. "That sounds really fun!" Steve stepped back and shut the door. "See you in a bit," he said.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, where are we going?" Bucky asked as he and Steve made their way down to the lobby of the apartment building. He was wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans that Steve never wore.

Steve shrugged. "Well, there's a little pizzeria a few blocks from here. I think it's called Vargas Pizza, but I'm not really sure. Are you in the mood for pizza and possible rap music?"

Bucky looked at him oddly. "Rap?"

Steve reached the door to the lobby and pulled it open for Bucky. "Yeah, the Striders DJ for the place. They get food, the Vargases get music, it's a win-win situation. At least, for them. The customers.... not so much. The younger Strider, Dave, is usually the rapper, but he's kinda horrible at it. well, to me he is. Dirk is the older one, and he runs the music choices. He usually chooses weird anime songs. I'm surprised that they haven't been fired yet," he explained.

Bucky laughed as he walked alongside his friend. It was weird, he had to admit, laughing along with a guy he had almost killed a few days ago. He hadn't known him then, but his memories were slowly coming back. All he remembered was Steve as a little guy, so there wasn't much to go on, but Bucky was positive that he was going to remember everything soon. Honestly, he was still confused on how exactly they got from the 1940s to 2014. _I'll ask Steve about it,_ he thought. "So, uhh... How did we get here?"

Steve stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "What do you mean?"

Bucky looked over at him. "Like, if we supposedly lived during World war 2, then how come we're in the 21st century? World War 2 was 70 years ago!"

Steve sighed and began walking again. "That's something best explained over dinner. Look, here we are." He led Bucky into a brightly lit diner as an even brighter host greeted them.

"Ciao! Welcome to our pizzeria. Is it just the two of you?" he asked. The man was short, and had a curl sticking off of the left side of his head.

Steve nodded and pulled Bucky with him as the host led them to a table near the corner. "My fratello with be out shortly~! If you need me, my name's Feli!" The host grinned and skipped off towards the front. Both Steve and Bucky sat down as "Uninstall" came on over the radio.

Bucky leaned forward. "Explain. Please." He leaped backwards as another cheerful Italian arrived at their table.

"Hiya! What do you want to drink?" he asked. Steve glared at him for a moment before ordering water for them both. The waiter nodded and introduced himself as Flavio, and darted off to the back. Steve sighed and began explaining.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve sat back as he finished his sentence. "So, you see, that's why I'm here in D.C. and not at the Avenger's Tower." He sensed Bucky's unnerve as the other swallowed his last bite of pizza.

"That's it?"

Steve nodded and pushed his plate aside. They had finished their pizzas and drinks, and the Striders had left just after stopping by their table for Steve's autograph. Dave had claimed that it was for his "bro", John, but he was so flustered that Steve thought that John was just a cover-up for Dave's fanboying self.

Bucky, however, thought that the Strider was embarrassed to talk about a possible crush. _Heh. Poor boy. But, I kind of get it,_ he thought. In truth, he remembered much more than what he had told Steve. During the war, he'd tell the other Howling Commandos about his girl back home, and describe Steve instead. Bucky had such a huge crush on such a little guy, and it grew after the serum was administered. He still liked him, even after forgetting about him. He knew that, like Dave, he couldn't tell his best friend about how he really felt. Suddenly, he realized that the Captain was snapping his fingers in front of his face.

"Buck! Hey! James? Wake up!" Bucky gasped and jumped back into the real world.

Steve was staring at him worriedly. "Are you okay? Your eyes became unfocused, I got worried."

Bucky shook his head and stood up quickly. "I'm sorry, I have to get out of here..." He ran outside, pushing aside a waiter who dropped something glass. The shattering covered his swearing as Feli ran up to him yelling "Lovi!". Steve ran after Bucky and left a couple of tens on the counter as the door swung closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm not sure if I should tag the Striders and the Vargases as characters in this story, since none of them show up for very long. I know Dave impacts the story directly, but I don't really think there's a need to tag him or anyone else besides Bucky and Steve. Also, since the pairing is from Marvel, I'm not tagging Hetalia and Homestuck in there either.


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky dashed to the right as he heard Steve following him. He weaved throughout the streets, running in and out of alleys until he found a dead end. "Dammit! Why did this have to happen?!?" he said out loud. He leaned against the moldy wall and slid down, wrapping his arms around his knees. He buried his face in his arms, getting agitated by the cold metal on his face. He quickly detached the arm and stared at it. "I fucking hate this thing," he muttered as he threw it into the alleyway with a clatter. He began sobbing. "Why... Just... Why..."

Footsteps rounded the corner and stopped. "Bucky..." Steve whispered before running up to him. He knelt down and lifted Bucky's face, drying his tears. "What's wrong? Why did you just run off like that? Are you okay?" he asked.

Bucky shook his head and leaned into Steve's hands. "I-I just... I was overcome by feeling... It's been so long, and it scared me... I'm really sorry, I swear! For everything, trying to stop you from joining the war, doubting that you would make it through the explosions, loving you when you loved someone else, trying to KILL you 70 years later... I'm just a horrible person!" He stopped after he realized the confession that had slipped out. _I hope he didn't hear that..._ he thought, blushing.

Steve froze and drew back a little. "What was that part, before the part about trying to kill me?" he asked.

_Shit! He heard!_

Bucky looked down. "I said... I'm sorry.... for falling in love with you even when you were obviously in love with Peggy. I knew that you would never love me back. I was stupid for even thinking it could happen. I'm sorry," he whispered, then looked back up at Steve. He was shocked, staring in silence with his mouth hanging partway open. Bucky sighed and got up to get his arm. "I was stupid to even tell you that. I still don't have a chance."

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around just as Steve kissed him. Steve pulled back and hugged Bucky, muttering "I've always loved you. You never noticed. I never told you because I was afraid you'd reject me. I love you, James."

Bucky gasped as he realized what his friend had said. The super-soldier drew back and retrieved the robotic arm. "Here. Let's go back to the apartment. We both need sleep, it's been a long day." He attached the arm back to Bucky's shoulder and pecked him on the cheek. "You have a home. Stay with me, forever and always?"

Bucky nodded and took Steve's hand. "Forever and always." They walked, hand in robotic hand, back to their apartment.


End file.
